Dear Reader,
Please pause a while and go through this story.
Be sure to read to the end.
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I have got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again, I observed the pain in her eyes.
Suddenly, I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, 'why?' I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the fork she was using and shouted at me, 'You're not a man!!'
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Ruth.
I didn't love her anymore. All I felt for her was pity. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement, which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30 percent stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent 10 years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt so sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy, but I couldn't take back what I had said for I loved Ruth so dearly.
Finally she cried loud in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me, her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce, which I had obsessed over for several weeks, seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was so tired after an eventful day with Ruth. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just didn't care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning, she presented her divorce conditions: She didn't want anything from me, but she requested a month's notice before the divorce.
In that one month, she requested that we both live a very normal life. Her reasons were: Our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month's duration that I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning.
I thought she was crazy. Just to make our last days bearable, I accepted her request. I told Ruth about my wife divorce conditions.
She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said to me scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out the first day, we both felt clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, 'Daddy is holding mommy in his arms.'
His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over 30 feet with her in my arms.
She closed her eyes and said softly; 'Don't tell our son about the divorce. '
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, we were more at ease. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. Then, I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. They were fine wrinkles on her face and her hair was turning to gray.
Our marriage had taken it's toll on her. For a minute, I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up , I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was a woman who had given 10 years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing all over again.
I didn't tell Ruth about this.
It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday work out made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, 'All my dresses have grown bigger.'
I suddenly realized that she has grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me - she had burried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, 'Dad it's time to carry mom out.'
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had essential part of his life.
My wife gestured that our son come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away, because I was afraid that I mght change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room to the hallway.
Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me more sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms, I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, 'I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.'
I drove down to the office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid that any delay would make me change my mind. I walked upstairs. Ruth opened the door and I said to her, 'Sorry, Ruth, I don't want the divorce anymore. '
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.
'Do you have a fever?' She said. I moved her hand off my head.
'Sorry, Ruth,' I said, 'I won't divorce. My marriage life was probably boring because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore.
Now I realized that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us part.'
Ruth seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and the slammed the door and burst into tears.
I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card.
I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.'
"That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran upstairs, only to find my wife in the bed, dead.
My wife had been fighting cancer for months and I was too busy with Ruth to even notice."
"She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to keep the negativity away from our son, in case we push through our divorce.
At least, in the eyes of our son, I'm a loving husband.
Often times in our relationship we fall out of love with our significant other. We get so carried away with some other person. We find excuses to explain our feelings. Really, divorce could go a long way of hurting our families. Why can't we keep that vow?
Change is sure possible in any situation or in anybody. But be sure to make it a positive one. Let's all pay more details and attention to our families. Don't let the love die. A family is an integral part of the society. It all starts from there. Rather than running away from our commitment, why not reasonably solve it all out?
Create time for your spouse, try understand her plight better and be a better husband every new day to her.
The other lady you are looking out there wasn't with you from Adam!
Let her imagine herself in your wife's condition. Would she stand it?
Really, some people her out there to break homes.
Your Family, Your Everything!
