IT IS WRONG TO BULLY A WOMAN NO MATTER THE PROVOCATION

IT IS WRONG TO BULLY A WOMAN, NO MATTER THE PROVOCATION:

Just yesterday evening, a friend called me to meet him at a bar. I was thoughtful because he knew that am not an alcoholic. I only visit there because I enjoy seeing football matches with other fans, not alone.

Having arrived there, he sat me down and narrated his ordeal with his wife last Saturday.

The truth is that the wife really provoked him through abusive words, and even dared him to touch her upon the heat of her provocative words. The man got loosed and pounced on her so severely. Now, she's threatening divorce.

I quickly told my friend how wrong he was, despite the grave of the provocation.
I told him that any man who raises his 'manly' hands against a woman, no matter the gravity of the provocation, is a coward.

A wise man will leave the house for the meantime when such quarrel ensues. He will keep calm and come back when his woman is calm. He won't help the fire to engulf them. He will douse it as a real man he is.

But a foolish man will be manly. He will stay to
exchange words with his woman. He will act like a coward. He will stain and breach his love confessions for her.
He will bully his wife to show his manliness. He's not a 'real' man.

Women are naturally impulsive in their thoughts and actions, and only a 'real' man understands this.

A 'real' man understands better than his woman. He explains more to his wife whenever issues arises. He quells the duel timely. He controls the affairs gently. Those are the features of a real man.

How right is it for a man to beat-up his wife on any ground? So wrong!
Real and gentlemen don't do this. They find a way to eschew the bitterness, no matter how bitter.

A real man swallows the bitterness of love with ease, and with hope that it will even be sweeter again.

I advised my friend to go home and apologize to his wife, and promise her that he will never raise his hands on her again.
I told him to lead the reconciliation. I made him to realize that real men leads reconciliation bid, but pompous and ignorant ones waits for the woman to
apologize first.

My friend realized that if he apologize for bullying his wife, she will be sober and have no choice than to be remorseful for her own wrongs to him too.

Don't be surprise that if he apply these words of advice, it may be a new dawn in their love-life. Their present marital unsavories may turn to sweetness.

Do this for the sake of love; for the sake of your kids.
Tell her that you're sorry for not controlling your anger.
Tell her that you want her back; that you love her and still need her forever.

Real men are men in this situation. Real men won't watch their marriages crumble. Real men won't wait for their women to be the forerunner of the reconciliation; they swiftly bring their lovers back to their hearts and homes.

A real man foresees what will be the status of their offsprings in the society, if he fail to reconcile with his wife, and their children grow up from a broken home.

My Mum told me that my Dad has never raised his hands against her, despite her unnumbered display of 'woman-ness'.

Friends, what more can I say?
Just do the right thing.
Every woman must be
submissive and respectful to her man, for that will accrue her more love. But when she falls short of this, please, do not roast her alive.

Charles C. Dennis

"BE CAREFUL, CAUTIOUS, CONSCIOUS - DISCERNING AND PRAYERFUL"

BE CAREFUL, CAUTIOUS,  CONSCIOUS - DISCERNING AND PRAYERFUL :

My friend, a medical doctor was faced with two difficult choices to make when he was searching for the woman to marry.

The first was a beautiful, educated lady, who came from a very wealthy home. Who was also very ready to put him in a high status.
She loved him beyond words and so much believed in him.

While the other was also an averagely beautiful lady, who was semi-educated, and comes from a poor home, though eager to be educated.
And at 27, she had not known any man.

He had love for the both, but he chose the latter because the percentage of love he had for her was greater. Secondly, due to her humility and zeal to be educated.
Hence, he vowed to put her up educationally. He spent a lot to ensure that she's fully educated, which she eventually acquired.

To him, he made the best choice. Sweetness of love began; marriage celebrated and life has to be faced.
They got two kids within four years of their marriage.

Just eight months after they had their second child, trouble began; regrets and agonies ensued. The woman changed and became a different person. She went haywire. She started comparing her husband with other men, even herself with other women.
She began to disrespect her husband, and comes back late at night, even though she was unemployed.

One night, she came back around 11pm and shunned the husband never to ask her where she was coming from, which led to a fight between them.

Now, the woman declared that she never loved him from the onset, only that she needed a person who could train her in school, and now has paid him back by giving him two kids. She wants out.

What a betrayal! What a heartbreak!

Friends, this is a true life story, and bringing it to the public is not clearly a breach of confidence, since the names of the parties are not included, but to teach us one or two things.

If you fail in marriage, you may have failed in life.
When a marriage is on the brink of collapsing, the parties are never coordinated psychologically and physically. Thus, such condition is not what you want to experience.
It is an ugly wind that blows no-one good, including the offsprings.

Before making your choice of a lifetime partner, you must be Cautious, Conscious, Careful, Discerning and Prayerful - CCC-DP.
Do not just choose because of what you see on the interim, or on the physical, but be able to foresee what may happen in future.

Apparently, my friend in the above scenario was carnally captivated by the humility of the lady, and the fact that she was a virgin at 27. But he failed to look deeply.

As a single, don't be scared or discouraged about marriage, that's why you must learn from people's experiences, and apply what you have learnt in due course. Similarly to the married ones, you have to learn and adjust from the mistakes others made. Marriage is not a bed adorned with only roses.
Don't watch your marriage crumble ooh! Do something. Adjust. Compromise when necessary.

Just say this prayer with me:
O God, give us the grace to discern and make the best choice of life-partner, in Jesus name, Amen!

It may interest you to know that this woman has rented an apartment elsewhere prior to her heartbreaking declaration.
Who financed it, since she's unemployed?

As a married woman, you must be careful with the kind of people you associate with. Stop comparing your husband with other men. All fingers are not equal.
If you're a good "helper", why not work together with him, so that he will attain that status you want him to?
Why did you allow yourself to be lured and deceived by these society women? A case of bad influence, I suppose.
Why should they influence the destruction of your marriage?
Why do you want to pay this man so badly like this?

The acronym, CCC-DP may apply.

Charles C. Dennis

WHO YOU SPEND TIME WITH

      
"WHO YOU SPEND TIME WITH"


Who you spend your time with will have a great impact on what kind of life you live.
There are people God has already ordained to come across our path, to help us fulfill our destiny.
People that inspire us, challenge us, make us better.
The right people have already been lined up. But here’s the key.
If you’re spending time with the wrong people you’ll never meet the right ones.
If you’re hanging around people that are not going any place, people that are dragging you down, causing you to compromise, draining your energy, then you’re going to get stuck.

You can’t hangout with chickens and expect to soar with eagles.
You’re going to become like the people you continually associate with.
You want to know what you’re going to be like in 5 years? Look at your friends.
If your friends are going places, have a spirit of excellence, kind, generous, courteous, then those qualities are going to rub off on you. But just because somebody is related to you doesn’t mean they are connected to you.
They may have your blood but they don’t have your spirit.
They may not have heard the call God put on your life.
This doesn’t make them a bad person; it just means God has a different assignment for them.
Maybe they are at a different level in their growth but they’re not right for you for this season.

This is one of the hardest things we have to deal with, letting go of people that are not supposed to be in our lives. Bottom line; don’t hold on to what God is asking you to walk away from.

Another thought, you shouldn’t spend a lot of time with people that are always negative, people that are constantly discouraged; you gotta keep them cheered up, keep them fixed.
I’m all for helping people; I’m all for being a blessing sometimes we have to love people back into wholeness.
But if you’re always giving and never receiving that’s an unhealthy relationship. You need to gradually make a change. BWho you spend your time with will have a great impact on what kind of life you live.

There are people God has already ordained to come across our path, to help us fulfill our destiny.
People that inspire us, challenge us, make us better.
The right people have already been lined up. But here’s the key.

If you’re spending time with the wrong people you’ll never meet the right ones.
If you’re hanging around people that are not going any place, people that are dragging you down, causing you to compromise, draining your energy, then you’re going to get stuck.

You can’t hangout with chickens and expect to soar with eagles.
You’re going to become like the people you continually associate with.
You want to know what you’re going to be like in 5 years? Look at your friends.
If your friends are going places, have a spirit of excellence, kind, generous, courteous, then those qualities are going to rub off on you. But just because somebody is related to you doesn’t mean they are connected to you.
They may have your blood but they don’t have your spirit.
They may not have heard the call God put on your life.
This doesn’t make them a bad person; it just means God has a different assignment for them.
Maybe they are at a different level in their growth but they’re not right for you for this season.

This is one of the hardest things we have to deal with, letting go of people that are not supposed to be in our lives. Bottom line; don’t hold on to what God is asking you to walk away from.
Another thought, you shouldn’t spend a lot of time with people that are always negative, people that are constantly discouraged; you gotta keep them cheered up, keep them fixed.

I’m all for helping people; I’m all for being a blessing sometimes we have to love people back into wholeness.
But if you’re always giving and never receiving that’s an unhealthy relationship. You need to gradually make a change.

By Collins  P. Alegbe

"Never violate her conscience or betray her God."

Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis will spend Labor Day weekend in isolation at the Carter County Detention Center with her Bible and her clear conscience.

The Rowan County Clerk’s office issued the licenses to same-sex couples on Friday under threat of jail time or fines if they didn’t comply with a federal judge’s order. While the licenses were freely given, the drama surrounding the clerk does not appear to be ending anytime soon. Davis met with her attorneys in jail Friday and told them she would “never violate her conscience or betray her God.”

According to the U.S. District Judge David Bunning, she won't be released unless she obeys his order. Her attorney said that the only way she could relent is for them to change the laws. They were claims that the license jssued was invalid.

The state legislature will not meet again until January. Democratic Gov. Steve Beshear has refused to call a special session, arguing that it would waste tax payer money to bring the legislature back on an issue that so far onlt affects one elected official. That means that Davis that Davis could spend time in jail for months until the state legislature has a chance to change the law next year.

Davis' supporters planned a "Free Kim Davis" rally in front of the jail on Saturday and Replubican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee said he planned to meet with Davis on Tuesday.

Her husband, Joe, said his wife will stay in jail how "ever how long it takes." He noted that she has held a Bible study at the Rowan County Detention Center every Monday night for the past few years.

"She's not going to resign, she's not going to sacrifice her conscience,  so she's doing what Martin Luther King Jr. wrote about in his letter from the Birmingham jail, which is to pay the consequences for her decision," said Mat Staver, one of Davis' attorney and also a founder of the Florida-based legal group Liberty Counsel.

Davis' attorneys said the licenses issued Friday are not "worth the paper they are written on" because Davis did not authorise them. But attorneys for the gay couples who sued her along with the elevted Rowan County attorney said the licenses were valid. The U.S. District Judge David Bunning said the he isn't aware if they were valid but had them issued.

AN OPEN LETTER TO BLESSING OKAGBARE

SHOLA OSHUNKEYE  08056180011  sholaoshunkeye@yahoo.co.uk


My Dear Blessing,

I greet you, and bring you peace that tran­scends all human understanding, in the name of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. I write this letter to you with mixed feelings, hoping it will meet you in the best condition of health, and praying that you will read the content with deep introspec­tion, and grab the lessons therein with both hands.

My daughter, I have never met you in per­son but I adore you like a queen on account of the glory you brought to Nigeria, our Fa­therland, from the tracks in the not-too-dis­tant past. I can’t recall what that moment, in 2008, looked like when you broke into the consciousness of Nigerians, like a sudden storm. My queen, I missed that moment when you mounted the podium to receive the bronze medal you won in the long jump event of the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games. It was your first major medal for Nigeria. It was a bronze that shone brighter than gold. And you were just 19 when you did it.

But as I sit behind my desk, in Accra, Gha­na, this evening, set to put my thoughts to paper, I still see your gleaming face in my sub-conscious. I still see the glow on that face that cloudless night in Glasgow. It was the face of victory. It was a perfect symbol­ism of the Nigerian spirit. My daugh­ter, needless for me to tell you how proud I was as a Ni­gerian, that night, as I watched you breast the tape, like a gazelle, at the fin­ishing line of the 100 metres event of the 2014 Commonwealth Games. The Games were held in Glasgow, the Scottish capi­tal. I cannot remember how many times I screamed: ‘Oh, God bless Blessing Okag­bare!’ My staff could not but marvel at my excitement. My joy knew no bounds that night. Since then, your name, Blessing Okagbare, has remained a sweet song on my lips. Since that night in Glasgow, you became one queen of the track in whom I’m well pleased, and in whom I see no vile.

Well, nothing much has changed since then, Blessing. Except that the reports I have been reading about you, a gem of an athlete, in the past week, have broken my heart. No, not because you did not win any medal in the recently concluded 2015 IAAF World Athletics Championship, held in the same Beijing, the same city where you styl­ishly announced your arrival as a global star seven years before. Rather, it is about a particular re­port that mirrored you, my idol, like someone flaunt­ing her failure at the competition like a ban­ner; a report that portrayed you as prodigal child who cares no hoot about wasting her people’s goodwill. For your dismal failure in Beijing, my daughter, the report quoted you as virtually telling Nigerians that you owe nobody any explanation, let alone an apology.

You were even reported to have skipped the 200metres event, despite appearing in the warm-up area earlier!

Oh, Blessing! Tell me this isn’t true. Tell me the post in your Facebook account that re­portedly said “I owe no one an explanation win or lose” was the handiwork of some good-for-nothing hackers, who were hell-bent on rubbishing your good name before your right-thinking compatriots. My queen, please, shame your detractors by denying that you didn’t post that monumental insult against journalists who helped your flight to stardom in no mean measure. Please, deny the statement credited to you that, “Not everyone, who open their mouth to talk or write with a pen in the name of jour­nalism, have their sanity intact and they know themselves.”

Ah, Blessing! Did you actually say that? I refuse to believe that you said all those things. Well, if you did, my daughter, you have not done well. What you did is abomi­nable. It is a betrayal of the trust that mil­lions of your compatriots repose in you. It amounts to biting the very fingers that fed you. If you actually said those words, I advise you to withdraw them, this mo­ment, and beg for forgiveness. I tell you, if you show genuine penitence, God is faithful and just enough to forgive you. And Nigerians, even journalists that you so maliciously insulted, love you too much not to forgive you. They will blot your iniquity from their memory, and extend a fresh hand of fellowship to you; trust me.

I’m not judging you, Blessing. But as a girl brought up in a good home, a display of genuine repentance is the way to go. Any­thing short of that would be begging the is­sue. It would allow the fire of antagonism currently festering against you to become a conflagration. God forbid.
But for God to forbid, you must first forbid it, my daughter.

You see, life is not a dash, Bless­ing. It is a marathon. The same people you so revile today might just be the same people God would use to save you from some nasty situation in future. With humans, you can never, and must never say ‘Never!’ my daughter. If anybody tells you anything to the contrary, it is grand deception. Even if success has got so much into your head that you think you could snub over 170 mil­lion people, it is grand self-deception for you to think that Nigeria’s salvation in ath­letics lies solely in those beautiful, long legs of yours. It is grand illusion to see yourself as indispensable.

The truth is, you are not indispensable, my daughter. Nobody is. God has not cre­ated any human that cannot be replaced. It would be a serious error to think you are. Or, haven’t you read or heard the inscru­table truth by Plato that ‘Nothing is easier than self-deception.’ So, you are not indis­pensable, my daughter. Honestly, you are not. And the earlier you lap up those empty, vain and arrogant words of yours, the bet­ter you would be.

Am I sounding harsh, Blessing? If I did, forgive me. Those words are not an ex­pression of anger. They are not. I cannot get angry with you because I appreciate that most people who achieve phenomenal success at your age often find it difficult to manage their success. Of course, I’m aware that adventure, exuberance, operating and dwelling in that realm where money, influ­ence and power hold sway are one terrible mix that often frustrates every effort suc­cessful young people make to maintain their sanity. I know, too, that prosperity sometimes breeds bad manners. These are part of the reasons I have refused to get angry with you over the insult you report­edly hurled at journalists after your dismal outing in Beijing. Rather, I sympathise with you.

At 26, you still have a very long way to go. You still have the future spread before you like the firmament; like a wide, spot­less sheet without any visible end. But you need to keep your head low. You need to make patience your second nature. I’m very sure your darling parents must have given you many pearls of wisdom as you grew up. You need them now, more than ever before, my daughter. One of such pearls, I’m certain, is: Pride goes before destruction. Whereas humility, charity and love conquer all things, pride goes before a catastrophic fall. While pride brings you hurt and shame, humility brings you hon­our and respect. Yet, of the two, pride is costlier to achieve.

So, which one would you rather choose, my queen? Choose humility. Shred the toga of pride that you are reported to have donned, Blessing, and replace it with the beautiful and honorable garment of hu­mility. Humility, like good manners, con­sists in concealing how much we think of ourselves, and how well we think of and respect others. Think less of yourself. And good manners, like Oscar Wilde says, are made up of petty sacrifices. Start making those petty sacrifices from today.

I speak these words of wisdom to you, Blessing, to make you a better person; and help you manage your success better. Don’t thrash those words. They are cap­sules of wisdom. Embrace them; use them and get wiser. And your life would be bet­ter for it.
As I end this letter, I beg you to forgive me if I have hurt you in any way. Don’t be angry. I took the decision to write you because of the love I have for you, and, more impor­tantly, because I do not want anything to derail the beautiful and glorious future God has mapped out for you. My prayer is for you to continue to soar like the eagle.

May you continue to enjoy the peace of God which neither fame nor money can buy. Greet your lovely parents, your sib­lings and your boyfriend or fiancé, for me. May God continue to keep and bless them.
Bye for now.
Sincerely Yours,
Shola Oshunkeye
Accra, Ghana

A Nigerian-Spanish lady, Helen Mukoro emerges as a presidential candidate in Spain.

A Nigerian born Spanish lawyer, Helen Mukoro, has emerged the presidential candidate of an opposition party for the forthcoming election to be held in Spain.

She will be setting a new record as the first woman and an immigrant to emerge a presidential flag bearer of a political party. 

She will be runnning on Union De Todos, a platform which she founded this year.

 

She is a forensic expert, author of so many books. She was born in Delta state and worked briefly in the Governor's Office before travelling to Spain in 1992.

She gained much prominence in Spanish politics when she founded a political party and later became the first Nigerian-Spanish to contest for the Mayor of Denia in May.

Though,  she lost to the election, she became more popular and was endorsed fir the highest office in the land.

She holds several academic qualifications.

She is a graduate of law from the Spanish National University Alicante. She holds a master degree in Criminology,  Social Education,  a post graduate certificate in Tax and Labour Management,  a post graduate certificate in Forensiv Psychology, and a post graduate certificate in Immigration and Domestic Violence.

She worked as a legal consultant (Immigration Department), at the Red Cross Society. 

She presently owns a legal firm. She served also as the CEO and president of the African Europe Chamber of Commerce.

And served aldo as the CEO snd president at the National Agency of Forensic Experts. Mediator snd Technical professional of Spain and Europe.

Helen had followed the trail of the United States President, Barack Obama, who was the first African-American to win the presidency.

The 2015 Spanish general election would be held on or before Sunday, December 20, 2015, as provided by the Spanish constitution and the Organic Law of the General Election Regime of 1985. The ruling People’s Party (PP), led by Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy, will seek re-election for a second term in office, while the Spanish Socialist Workers’ Party (PSOE) will struggle to return to power after four years in opposition. The election will be marked by the rise of new parties Podemos (Spanish for “We can”) and Citizens.

IT IS CHEAPER TO RUN A MARRIAGE THAN A RELATIONSHIP

IT IS CHEAPER TO RUN A MARRIAGE THAN A RELATIONSHIP
I know you are probably wondering what view I have to share this time around, though I am not out to advice young men to tie the knot directly with this piece but may be indirectly after buying my opinion.


Well, speaking about myself here; am a very precise being, a man who checks cost before venturing. I weigh the value of my pocket before I price and I bargain based on what I can afford.

I beleive I start bearing kids when I should, mistake about that isn't in my dictionary.
I spend when and over what is worth spending and likewise zip my pocket when the pocket needs to be glued hard; you can possibly muffle "Aka gum" well if that's how you see it, I am that then.

So having seen the end of relationship/courting and a bit of the other side, am out now to say, it is cheaper to keep a wife than a girlfriend.

You doubt me?
Now, sit down, sip a drink, hold your phone, Ipad e.t.c and read patiently.


Have you ever wondered that a girlfriend will never assist you to manage your source of income especially when you're self-employed.
Why? You may ask. The answer could be more than one. She may probably feel so ashamed to manage it since no marriage signs or feels if she does, at the end you will marry another woman to marry to enjoy her sweat, though not out of place.

A girlfriend often demands for things she doesn't need, probably she wants to show off to her friends; demands for expensive things just to watch you spend like a loser, and if you don't,  she tags you stingy!

But a wife demands for what she needs, because she knows that wasteful spending will sure tell on the financial strength of the family.


A girlfriend demands for flashy joints for meals, even if she is going to make the meal,  she will demand more than she needs. But a wife demands just the lowest that can make a precious meal, and often times detest going to flashy meal centres except on some special occasions.


A girlfriend tidies your home with reservations,  but a wife does it well because it is her home for God's sake. At every kiss given to a girlfriend,  you pay for it either directly or indirectly.

Guys!
Know this, but a kiss given to your wife is a pleasure that money can not buy and never will she measure it with any financial worth.

By Obi Sunday,
The Councillor.


Please, feel free to share your views on this article.
Thanks.

Charlyboy marries a Nigerian-Ethiopian, caller from a radio show, Ms Ify Koko

Charles Oputa, also known as Charlyboy, has disclosed recently in a chat with News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in Abuja that he has taken Miss Ify Koko, a Nigerian-Ethiopian, as his new wife. He disclosed that they both met on air.

According to the report, Charlyboy stated thus; “I met her in another radio show. She was one of the callers and that was how it all started.

He further disclosed that he wants it permanent and that they have both known each other for over a year.

Charlyboy said; “Somebody of my status needs more than one wife; I need many wives, many children and plenty of love that will do it for me."

“Koko is the 18th woman in my life right now and she is the latest. As you can see, I am looking younger because I am very happy with my new bride, who is very beautiful and supportive."

“I have also decided to go on air with her because she has something to bring to the table; she is an advertiser and human resource manager.

He introduced the new bride as Ify Koko, said; “We have agreed to come together to co-host my radio program: “Talk Junction” on FRCN network every Saturday by 10.30am.”

On his first wife, Diane, he said; “Diane is still with me, we are not divorced. We have been happily married for 38 years now and she is the Chief Mother of my home and all my children, and that is not changing.

“She goes on no leave, no transfer. Every other woman I have live in their separate places. I really don’t see the big deal about it; People are over blowing the whole thing.

“I am an African man, and I can marry as much as I can take care of, and I don’t believe in divorce”, he emphasized.

On Koko part, she said, “I have known Charlyboy as very caring and loving man, and I have a son for him.

“We decided to formally come together as husband and wife four months ago, and I am not regretting it.

“I don’t have business with any other woman in his life, as I only focus on what I have with him."

According to the report by NAN, 64 year old Charlyboy is blessed with 9 children and 14 grandchildren. 

"PREPARE YOURSELF FOR MARRIAGE AND NOT IN MARRIAGE"

PREPARE YOURSELF 'FOR' MARRIAGE AND NOT WAIT TO PREPARE 'IN' MARRIAGE!

Marriage is a lifetime engagement, thus, every interested party must prepare for his or her marriage timely.

Wedding is an initiation into marriage-hood. Therefore, you may succeed when you prepare for marriage, not when you prepare in marriage. Do not just prepare for your wedding, but for your marriage.

Preparing in marriage is very risky. If you prepare for marriage, then, you have prepared in marriage.

Marriage is all about meeting the needs of the parties; being a companion to each other. It is not about oppressing or taking advantage of the other. It is all about advising and correcting each other.

In marriage, the parties should always listen to each other's plights and opinions.
No monopoly of decision-making.
A loving husband listens to his wife, then makes the best decision out of her words. But a foolish one rebuffs and sees it as a mere woman's opinion.

Man cannot stay alone, he therefore needs a companion (a woman).
It pleases God and he deliberately created the woman and the man differently. And each of them has his or her duties, powers and limits.

Marriage is a communion of love not of quarrels, nor a hall of crisis. Therefore, it is more of the duty of the man to quell the duels whenever they arises, and not contributively letting it engulf them. The man should be the man not woman.

Women are created by God to thrive in an atmosphere of love. Thus, when you treat her well, you enjoy her more. Vice versa. A woman who feels that she will make her husband a dustpan, has caused the worst for herself. Everybody has a role to play in keeping peace and sustaining love between them.

You must remember that both of you were strangers till you became one. You were bred and brought-up by different parents or guidance, and in different ways or environment. Thus, you were of different understanding until you accepted each other and became one, so, there must be misunderstanding someday.

Marriage is the sweetest engagement, but with it's peculiar bitterness.
A party who has prepared for marriage, will be timeously endowed with the 'strength' to manage and overcome whatever bitterness that may ensue thereafter.

Therefore, prepare for marriage. Do not wait to prepare in marriage. That's risky!


Charles C. Dennis

"YOUR FAMILY, YOUR EVERYTHING"

Dear Reader, 
Please pause a while and go through this story.
Be sure to read to the end.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I have got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again, I observed the pain in her eyes.


Suddenly, I didn’t know how to open my mouth.  But I had to let her know what I was thinking.  I want a divorce.  I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, 'why?' I avoided  her question. This made her angry. She threw away the fork she was using and shouted at me, 'You're not a man!!'


That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping.  I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Ruth.


I didn't love her anymore. All I felt for her was pity. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement,  which stated that she could own our house,  our car, and 30 percent stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent 10 years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt so sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy, but I couldn't take back what I had said for I loved Ruth so dearly.


Finally she cried loud in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me, her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce,  which I had obsessed over for several weeks, seemed to be firmer and clearer now.


The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was so tired after an eventful day with Ruth. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just didn't care so I turned over and was asleep again.


In the morning,  she presented her divorce conditions: She didn't want anything from me,  but she requested a month's notice before the divorce.
In that one month, she requested that we both live a very normal life. Her reasons were: Our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month's duration that I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning.


I thought she was crazy. Just to make our last days bearable, I accepted her request. I told Ruth about my wife divorce conditions.
She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said to me scornfully.


My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out the first day, we both felt clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, 'Daddy is holding mommy in his arms.'
His words brought me a sense of  pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over 30 feet with her in my arms.
She closed her eyes and said softly; 'Don't tell our son about the divorce. '
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work.  I drove alone to the office.


On the second day, we were more at ease. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. Then, I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. They were fine wrinkles on her face and her hair was turning to gray.
Our marriage had taken it's toll on her. For a minute,  I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up , I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was a woman who had given 10 years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing all over again.
I didn't tell Ruth about this.


It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday work out made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning.  She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, 'All my dresses have grown bigger.'
I suddenly realized that she has grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me - she had burried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.


Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, 'Dad it's time to carry mom out.'
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had essential part of his life.
My wife gestured that our son come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away, because I was afraid that I mght change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room to the hallway.
Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me more sad.


On the last day, when I held her in my arms, I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, 'I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.'


I drove down to the office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid that any delay would make me change my mind. I walked upstairs. Ruth opened the door and I said to her, 'Sorry, Ruth, I don't want the divorce anymore. '
She looked at me, astonished,  and then touched my forehead.
'Do you have a fever?' She said. I moved her hand off my head.
'Sorry, Ruth,' I said,  'I won't divorce. My marriage life was probably boring because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore.
Now I realized that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us part.'
Ruth seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and the slammed the door and burst into tears.


I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card.
I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.'


"That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran upstairs, only to find my wife in the bed, dead.
My wife had been fighting cancer for months and I was too busy with Ruth to even notice."
"She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to keep the negativity away from our son, in case we push through our divorce.
At least,  in the eyes of our son, I'm a loving husband.

Often times in our relationship we fall out of love with our significant other. We get so carried away with some other person. We find excuses to explain our feelings. Really, divorce could go a long way of hurting our families. Why can't we keep that vow?
Change is sure possible in any situation or in anybody. But be sure to make it a positive one. Let's all pay more details and attention to our families. Don't let the love die. A family is an integral part of the society. It all starts from there. Rather than running away from our commitment,  why not reasonably solve it all out?
Create time for your spouse, try understand her plight better and be a better husband every new day to her.
The other lady you are looking out there wasn't with you from Adam!
Let her imagine herself in your wife's condition. Would she stand it?
Really, some people her out there to break homes.

Your Family,  Your Everything! 

ONE MAN, ONE WOMAN, EXCEPT ON RELIGIOUS PERMISSION

ONE MAN, ONE WOMAN, EXCEPT ON RELIGIOUS PERMISION

Though nature seems to hold that one man should be enough for a woman, but the contrary seems to be the practice of men too.
I stand to be corrected or criticized.

Men are naturally, though abnormally, promiscuous. But, if men's promiscuity is a natural feature, how abnormal and/or  divine is it? since some religious tenets permits polygamy, while others frowns at it.

Meanwhile, though the concept of Promiscuity has a thin similarity with that of Polygamy, but not devoid of certain distinctions.

Polygamy is the status of marrying more than one wife. While promiscuity is also the act of immorally sleeping around with different partners outside your marital or premarital relationship.
The former carries with it some elements of divine sanction (i.e., where a particular religion permits), while the latter connotes licentiousness; sluttishness and whorishness (which are acts of immorality).

Deducing from the above, we would realize how morality defeated nature, where nature appreciates abnormality.

In Christianity, we have been thought to marry only but one wife.
Thus, once you make your choice, you have made it, and can only divorced your partner on the Biblical grounds.
Whereas, in Islamic religion, the contrary is the case, since a man is permitted to marry not more than four wives.

The questions are:
Why do Christians engage in promiscuity, against (not only the tenets of Christianity, but also their own consciences)?

As a Moslem, haven't you heard that you're permitted to marry more than one wife, so, why still engage in promiscuity, against your conscience and religious provisions?
Why not marry three more wives, in favour of your conscience and religious position?

No woman would be comfortable when she see her man engage in such sordid act. Even Moslem wives never like it when they see their husbands marry second wife or more.

Sexual or erotic love never wants to be shared, religious permission notwithstanding.

You must keep to One, no matter how natural the urge and desire are.

But, can a man settle with one woman forever? Yes! He can! You just have to make the best choice out of the available.

Hey, woman, help him out! Stop looking haggard and unkempt, or you tempt him to be promiscuous.

Every partner must often look good and sexy to the other. You must make the best choice out of all. And above all, you must often pray never to be distracted by another beauty.

CHARLES C. DENNIS

What to check while leaping on to a dating site?

No wonder in your phone too you get a number of links regarding the various dating sites for free and there are indeed some of us who in dire state of desolation go to check on to these sites to have some sort of fun. But as we all know, in this ever increasing world of cyber crime, one must take ample care before logging on to any site. Does that mean that you are being banned from logging on to any dating sites? Of course not.  But then, there are certain things that you must take care of before you are going to register in to any of these sites.

What are the dangers that you can face if you move in to the wrong sort of online dating site?

·         Monetary exploitation- you may be informed in a site that in order to register you will have to invest some money so that you can get steady flow of notifications. The truth might be far from it. May be you give your account details and the money is take from you and thereafter you may find that the site was actually fake. So when you are given such assurance stop and check before you take your first move.

·         Number of fake profiles- Even when you get the notifications you may be fooled with the help of fake profiles. You may be chatting with a person for months, never knowing that the profile is fake and the person behind the profile may be the opposite of what you expect.

·         You may get virus in your device- Some of these sites suggest you to download the app or any such software, and when you do it, viruses are transferred to your device without your knowledge.

How can we stop such problems?

There are a number of solutions in which you can check the dating sites before making a move.

·         See to it in the beginning that the site has a perfect authorization. Any site with no reliable authorization can be termed as fake or manipulative. You can even call at the contact numbers given in the dating website to check whether they have a valid government registration number or not. If they have it, then of course you can proceed. Checking for this can save you from any sort of monetary exploitation while dating online.

·          Secondly, whenever you see clicking on a link is redirecting you to a download process, then you should stop right away as this will cause unexpected results. Check if the other link is irrelevant and if it is leave the site in order to prevent any viruses from attacking your device.

·         When you are chatting with someone, do not go to meet a person based on a conversation of few days. It may be trap for you. Such fraud cases are not at all rare and it is best to call and check first whether the profile is a real or a fake one. Now you can go for happy dating! 

Termination of Falomo shopping complex contract: Concessionary company reacts, denies any wrong doing

24 hours after Lagos state gov, Akinwunmi Ambode terminated the contract for the refurbishment of the Falomo Shopping Complex in Ikoyi, the concessionary company that was awarded the contract, Afriland Properties has released a statement saying that the partnership they entered with the Fashola led administration for the refurbishment was done transparently and in accordance to the rule of law.

While terminating the contract Gov Ambode had said that only N50m was paid by the concessionaire for a 50-year lease of the property belonging to the govt, an agreement which according to him is not in the interest of the residents of the state. The statement from Afriland Properties after the cut...

The management of Afriland Properties Plc notes with concern, recent reports relating to its transaction to redesign and redevelop the iconic Falomo Shopping Centre in Lagos. These unverified reports have implied that, the contract with the Lagos State Development and Property Corporation (LSDPC) was terminated on the grounds that the concession terms are “grossly detrimental” to Lagos State and its residents. The reports also claim that Afriland Properties Plc only made a payment of N50 million for a 50-year lease of the government-owned land.

Though the authenticity of these reports is unconfirmed, Afriland strongly refutes the suggestion that it has engaged in any misconduct or that the transaction is in any way detrimental to the people and government of Lagos State. We are strongly committed to creating a world class project, which will act as an economic magnet for central Lagos, creating opportunities for Lagosians and which crucially has been structured to ensure ongoing value will accrue to Lagos State and to Lagosians.

The contract was negotiated transparently and in accordance with best practice. Afriland Properties PLC and the Lagos State Development Property Corporation (LSDPC), acting on behalf of the Lagos State government, established a Special Purpose Vehicle (SPV) which is jointly owned by the parties for the specific purpose of developing the Falomo project. Under the terms of the agreement, the SPV- Falomo Shopping Centre Development Company Ltd – was granted a concession to, amongst other things, develop, build, operate and maintain the Project on a Build, Operate and Transfer (BOT) basis. Afriland paid N50m (fifty million naira) to LSDPC as an expression of interest in the redevelopment project. The LSPDC will receive a 35% interest in the SPV for its land contribution and through this significant Equity Holding, will continue to receive significant ongoing value Afriland is obliged to fund the entirety of the development costs which is projected to exceed N30 billion without recourse to the Nigerian taxpayer.

The new facility will comprise a state-of-the-art shopping mall, office complex and generous parking facilities. Afriland has consistently adhered to the terms of its agreement with LSDPC, as outlined in the Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) and Joint Venture Agreement that were signed and executed by the aforementioned parties. Furthermore, all value to be derived from the creation of this world-class commercial venture will be held in, and enjoyed by Lagos State and its residents.

The development will ultimately revert to the state upon expiration of the lease. Apart from delivering an environment that befits the city and is consistent with the government’s goal of an aesthetically pleasing skyline, the Falomo site will be home to thriving businesses that will contribute significantly to the Internally Generated Revenue (IGR) of the state.

As an organization, Afriland Properties Plc and its affiliated companies have always upheld the values of integrity and excellence. We have nothing but the utmost respect for the dictates of the law and till date, have acted accordingly. As such, we are unequivocal in our belief that our sincere intentions for this landmark project will be validated in due course.

As a significant investor in Nigeria and one which is committed to ensuring value creation within the country, we would underline the importance of creating a business environment that is based on transparency, contractual certainty and social partnership. At a time when Nigeria urgently needs to diversify its economy and attract broad based foreign direct investment, the rumours we have identified do little to promote the National interest or create the business environment our country needs.

“Uzo Oshogwe, MD/CEO Afriland Properties Plc.”

Ben Murray-Bruce condemns pic criticising Buhari's appointments

Well...

Photo: How impromptu medical checkup saved activist, Joe Okei Odumakin

Activist Dr Joe Okei-Odumakin just underwent a surgery in Dubai to remove Gall stones. According to the political activist who shared the photo above on her Facebook wall, she said she was in Dubai for a programme when she decided to quickly do a medical checkup. After the doctors examined her, she was told she will have to be rolled into the theater immediately for a surgery as they'd discovered a 1.5cm gallstone sticking out from her stomach.

The doctor advised that she go in for a surgery immediately as any delay may cause the gall stone to burst in her stomach which would be harmful. The surgery has been done and according to her, she is recuperating. Wish her speedy recovery.

Photos from the Arik Air Seyilaw sold-out show in London

Check-out how the “ArikAir Seyilaw 2015” comedy show went at the Discovery Centre Jenkins Lane London IG11 0AD. Seyilaw is gaining a lot of international attention. The show was promoted by the almighty Soldout concert promoters Cokobar.com. See the photos after the cut...

Rapper Bow Wow goes ballistic after his rental ruse is uncovered lol

Earlier this week rapper Bow Wow was caught lying about buying a house that he was only renting. After the news went viral, Bow Wow ordered urban bloggers to leave him alone...lol. His rant above.

Matt Barnes insists there was something going on between himself & RiRi

A girl says she doesn't know you and you're still insisting y'all are dating? Despite being roasted by Rihanna, Matt stands by his story. Below is what he told Jim Rome, in a new interview 

“You live and you learn. When you’re in a situation like this and, you know, you just learn. You just got to keep stuff to yourself obviously. But the way I’m putting it right now, I’m too grown to lie, you know what I mean. It is what it is, I’m going to let this blow by like everything else blows by.”

“What can you do? At the end of the day we’re all grown-ups. Like I said I’m too grown to be lying about stuff but life is life. You live and you learn.”

Chelsea hijack Manchester United bid for Pedro

The Red Devils' unwillingness to match Barcelona's €30 million asking price has alienated the 28-year-old, who believes he would enjoy a more important role at Stamford Bridge




Chelsea are now in pole position to sign Barcelona forward Pedro after making a late bid to hijack Manchester United’s move for the Spaniard, Goal understands.

Pedro travelled to London on Wednesday morning to hold talks with Chelsea ahead of a €30 million move, and personal terms are not expected to be an obstacle to completing the deal.

United have pursued Pedro for much of the summer but the Spaniard is understood to have become frustrated with the Red Devils' unwillingness to match Barcelona’s asking price of €30m, while conversations with close friend and former team-mate Victor Valdes have left him wary of Louis van Gaal’s management style.

Jose Mourinho is a long-time admirer of the 28-year-old, who can play anywhere across the frontline, and Diego Costa's sluggish start to the season has convinced him that his Chelsea squad needs another goal threat. The Premier League champions are so far the only club to indicate that they are happy to meet Barcelona's asking price.

Pedro's change of heart will be a big blow to Van Gaal, who is looking to bolster an attack presently over-reliant on Wayne Rooney following the departures of Robin van Persie and Radamel Falcao. United came tantalisingly close to sealing a deal for the 28-year-old prior to Barca's two-legged Spanish Super Cup clash with Athletic.

Last week Van Gaal admitted that Pedro is precisely the kind of fast, penetrative forward United need, but the club's decision to play hardball with Barcelona over price has alienated the player.

Pedro's push to leave Camp Nou after seven trophy-laden years in the first team is borne out of his desire to be a key player at a top club and the strength of Chelsea's interest has convinced him he will enjoy such status at Stamford Bridge.

It is also understood that - despite numerous media reports - Manchester City never harboured a serious interest in signing Pedro, having already acquired Raheem Sterling and identified Kevin De Bruyne as a top target this summer.

"LIFE IS BUT A WEAVING"

Life is but a weaving

My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me
I can not choose the colors
He weaveth steadily

Oft' times He weaveth sorrow
And I am in foolish pride
Forget he sees the upperside
And I the underside 

Not' till the loom is silent
And the shutters cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And reveal the reason why

The dark threads are as needful
In the weaver's skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern he has planned

He knows, He loves, He cares
Nothing this truth can dim
He gives the very best  to those
Who leave the choice to Him

                                        Corrie Ten Boom