I fell in love!
Have you ever been in love? You know the kind of love that blows you completely off your feet? You can't stop dreaming about it. You can't stop thinking of it. Just live in it; it completely envelopes you. Yes! That's the kind of love I fell into. It blew me off my feet, I completely and totally lost in it.
Now I know that you're completely wondering what I am talking about. You're trying to get the picture accurately.
"You fell inlove? What? A Priest? With whom? Wait a minute, come again. Who did you fall inlove with? How? Why? When?
Yea. Yeah, I know. I know that you'd get all these questions in your mind.
You think a Priest shouldn't fall in love, right? You think we shouldn't fall in love like normal people do. I do apologise but I am still completely and hopelessly in love.
Now, let's get down to earth. So many years ago, I remembered how much I wanted to be a Priest. I didn't know what that decision meant at the time. In fact, I had no idea of the challenges this choice will throw at me.
I just wanted to wear that robe, you know? I just want to be able to stand at the sanctuary and say mass.
I dreamt of it. I couldn't get it out of my head. This images filled my head. I couldn't shake it no matter how hard I tried. I was enveloped in that idea. I was just 6 years old at the time.
I know I would have made a good musician. Maybe, I could have made it as a stand up comedian. Or I could have become an Acamedian. I wanted to sing, I wanted to act, I wanted to broadcast news, I wanted to have an office and counsel people. Geez! I wanted to be so many things, but above this I wanted to be a Priest.
It was the wierdest and most inappropriate idea.Why? Because I was the most unqualified kid on the block. I was this proud, highly opionated and stubborn last born. I was disobedient and self-centered. But I had great looks(winks) , which added to the problem. Above all, I had this feeling that I could get whatever I wanted.
So many years later, I did become a Priest. It was my dream and desire. It was wonderful. It wasn't because I was the best seminarian ever. I got into all kinds of trouble. Got punished more than once in a day.
I was still stubborn and self-centered. Still very opionated and proud. But I got what I wanted. I became a Priest. And I thought I deserved it, why not?
When I began to work with young people in the university, I will sit for hours watching and observing their behaviour. I talked and listened to many as they opened up heart and poured out their problems.
I realized that young people were strong and unafraid. I realized that they kept making mistakes and kept trying to get better. They weren't afraid to try new things. They weren't scared of loving. Many were wounded and heart broken but they just kept falling in love over and over again, even if they weren't sure what would come of it.
Above all, they loved God. They wanted to love Him much more. I could see it in their eyes. They shared too many tears when they made a mistake. They were always at the confessional seeking forgiveness. They gave their time and energy, their heart and soul to the things of God.
It was then I realized how much God loved me. It was tben I realized that I have never been deserving of this priesthood. It was then that I realized that I have been too afraid to serve God and man the way I should have. It was then I fell in love with God, with men and women, with little children and with humanity. It was then I was swept off my feet. It was then that my heart was filled with love.
It took me twists and turns, mistakes and counter mistakes, but I got here. Now, I know that I must make heaven, not because of my fear of hell but because God first loved me. He knew that I was proud and stubborn. He knew that I was cold - hearted and self-centered. He knew that I was the most unqualified kid on the block, yet He chose me.
He even let me get away with the thought that I was too qualified to serve him. Then He taught me how to love. He taught me how to be available to people. He taught me through the love and kindness of young people, through the pains, joys and sorrows of others, through my own experiences.
Now, I am completely and hopelessly in love with Him.
But even now that I know that I love Him so much, I still make mistakes, I still offend Him. I am still proud and opionated sometimes, I still do my own will.
I just wish I could return a fraction of the unmerited and unconditional love he has shown me. I just wish I could get a little bit better and better. God help me, God help us all.
Have you ever been in love? You know the kind of love that blows you completely off your feet? You can't stop dreaming about it. You can't stop thinking of it. Just live in it; it completely envelopes you. Yes! That's the kind of love I fell into. It blew me off my feet, I completely and totally lost in it.
Now I know that you're completely wondering what I am talking about. You're trying to get the picture accurately.
"You fell inlove? What? A Priest? With whom? Wait a minute, come again. Who did you fall inlove with? How? Why? When?
Yea. Yeah, I know. I know that you'd get all these questions in your mind.
You think a Priest shouldn't fall in love, right? You think we shouldn't fall in love like normal people do. I do apologise but I am still completely and hopelessly in love.
Now, let's get down to earth. So many years ago, I remembered how much I wanted to be a Priest. I didn't know what that decision meant at the time. In fact, I had no idea of the challenges this choice will throw at me.
I just wanted to wear that robe, you know? I just want to be able to stand at the sanctuary and say mass.
I dreamt of it. I couldn't get it out of my head. This images filled my head. I couldn't shake it no matter how hard I tried. I was enveloped in that idea. I was just 6 years old at the time.
I know I would have made a good musician. Maybe, I could have made it as a stand up comedian. Or I could have become an Acamedian. I wanted to sing, I wanted to act, I wanted to broadcast news, I wanted to have an office and counsel people. Geez! I wanted to be so many things, but above this I wanted to be a Priest.
It was the wierdest and most inappropriate idea.Why? Because I was the most unqualified kid on the block. I was this proud, highly opionated and stubborn last born. I was disobedient and self-centered. But I had great looks(winks) , which added to the problem. Above all, I had this feeling that I could get whatever I wanted.
So many years later, I did become a Priest. It was my dream and desire. It was wonderful. It wasn't because I was the best seminarian ever. I got into all kinds of trouble. Got punished more than once in a day.
I was still stubborn and self-centered. Still very opionated and proud. But I got what I wanted. I became a Priest. And I thought I deserved it, why not?
When I began to work with young people in the university, I will sit for hours watching and observing their behaviour. I talked and listened to many as they opened up heart and poured out their problems.
I realized that young people were strong and unafraid. I realized that they kept making mistakes and kept trying to get better. They weren't afraid to try new things. They weren't scared of loving. Many were wounded and heart broken but they just kept falling in love over and over again, even if they weren't sure what would come of it.
Above all, they loved God. They wanted to love Him much more. I could see it in their eyes. They shared too many tears when they made a mistake. They were always at the confessional seeking forgiveness. They gave their time and energy, their heart and soul to the things of God.
It was then I realized how much God loved me. It was tben I realized that I have never been deserving of this priesthood. It was then that I realized that I have been too afraid to serve God and man the way I should have. It was then I fell in love with God, with men and women, with little children and with humanity. It was then I was swept off my feet. It was then that my heart was filled with love.
It took me twists and turns, mistakes and counter mistakes, but I got here. Now, I know that I must make heaven, not because of my fear of hell but because God first loved me. He knew that I was proud and stubborn. He knew that I was cold - hearted and self-centered. He knew that I was the most unqualified kid on the block, yet He chose me.
He even let me get away with the thought that I was too qualified to serve him. Then He taught me how to love. He taught me how to be available to people. He taught me through the love and kindness of young people, through the pains, joys and sorrows of others, through my own experiences.
Now, I am completely and hopelessly in love with Him.
But even now that I know that I love Him so much, I still make mistakes, I still offend Him. I am still proud and opionated sometimes, I still do my own will.
I just wish I could return a fraction of the unmerited and unconditional love he has shown me. I just wish I could get a little bit better and better. God help me, God help us all.
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