Wednesday 21 October 2015

IT IS CHILDISH TO UNREASONABLY MONITOR YOUR PARTNER's WHEREABOUTS.

IT IS CHILDISH TO UNREASONABLY MONITOR YOUR PARTNER's WHEREABOUTS.

This game of love is for the mature in mind, not just in age. Feelings of love should not be in custody of people of shallow hearts. If your heart is not deep enough to contain love and its attributes, then, do not think about love, because you won't be able to uphold it.

Love is for men and women, not for those who still think or act like boys or girls.

A lady lamented how her boyfriend was fond of monitoring her movements, and she seemed tired of such boyish attitude.
She confided in me and asked if I could help talk to him. Of course I didn't have to talk to the 'boy' before he can change, but to her. Because, certain things are effected or corrected forcefully if you must attain your desired end.

I told her to be bold enough to tell him to stop that childish attitude. Because it will be easier for her to control it now, than in marriage proper, since some people takes marriage as a freedom ground where certain acts are certified; where some people shave their premarital promises and do as they like.

I wonder the essence and extent of the love he confesses, if he can't trust his partner.
Love cannot be built, sustained or protected in an atmosphere of suspicion and mistrust. Because, trust is one of the pillars and strongholds of love.

The questions are:
Can love stand alone?
Is trust not a reliable and an indispensable pillar of love? Yes, it is!

A lover who has chosen to make it a habit to always monitor the activities or whereabouts of his or her partner, has chosen the path of the shallow minds. He should often visit his doctor to check the level of his Blood Pressure(BP).

Certain things are worth ignored when playing this Love-game.
You must trust and believe in your heart that your man or woman does not cheat on you. That is the foremost step to take, then, build on it.

However, neutrally or reasonably asking the whereabouts of your partner is understandable, and can stand as an exception. Thus, it is not wrong at times when you seek to know certain status of your partner, though it raises some questions about the level of your maturity, where it is done with unnecessary sense of suspicion and mistrust.

Also, it may not create much problems if the parties are already married. But it will be unnecessary in premarital relationship, especially where a partner does it to monitor the other out of distrust.

In premarital relationship, to build and sustain your love, you do not need to monitor each other with such sense of distrust. You must trust and believe each other, even in distant relationships.

Yes, you can ask some questions concerning his or her activities, with such sense of mild jealousy, and not with distrust.
Yes, you owe each other apologies and explanations, but not in such detrimental manners.

Monitoring must be distinguished from jealousy, as the latter is often welcomed where it is done mildly and maturely, whereas, the former is rarely appreciated because its negative elements and connotations outweighs the positive.

Remember: that love thrives only in the heart of those who can save it, not those who will spoil it.

Written By Charles C. Dennis, Esq.

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